You don't want me, no
You don't need me
Like I want you, oh
Like I need you
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
You can't see me, no
Like I see you
I can't have you, no
Like you have me
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
You can't feel me, no
Like I feel you
I can't steal you, no
Like you stole me
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life.
-- The Pretty Reckless. There's a million ways i could describe how i feel about you , but you wouldn't even give a damn . You say that you still care & didn't want to hurt me , you tell my friends this anways . But if you really did , you wouldn't have given up on me . You wouldn't have let me go that easily . I know that i never told you my real , true feelings , but i needed to keep my guard up a little bit . Even though i felt everything , and i know that it was and still is real , i doubt i'll get over this , for a long time that is . Something keeps telling me that i should just get up and move on quicker , instead of dwelling in the past , but there's no reason i could ever want to fully let you go . The memories are still there , and i'll always have those to think of . You made me feel like i actually meant something, and for some reason i let myself fall harder and faster for you than i did the first time i thought i really loved . But that other guy cheated on me . & We're older now , i thought because you were older , you'd actually understand , that you would really show me that you actually cared . I've been hurt , everytime i try . I'm not sure if i try too hard to keep people around , or in this case , i'm not sure i tried hard enough . I'm scared that this could have been my fault , that i didn't make the effort . You told me you loved me & that i was the first girl you ever said that to , that you liked me the first time you met me , that you would never hurt me like he did , you promised . You acted like you cared , until later on , you seemed to want me to do things with you , but yet when i always said no , you still respected that . I thought there was something brand new , something different , something special that we had . You had liked me for two years straight & then we dated for three months . I can't help but want everything back , obviously . But there's just no way i could ever change the past , what happened has already happened . I act like i don't really care , i try to focus on school & work harder at the things i'll need for life . I try to be with friends all day , so that i don't have time to sit and really think about everything that just happened . I'm trying to do the things in life that make me happy & be with the people that make me laugh & forget the world for some moments . I just don't know , there's nothing more to it . I treated you right , i was nothing but nice , i always tried to make you happy , i let you have your space , i made sure that you knew that i was there , but we hardly ever got to talk . Even when you did finally get a phone , you never texted me , you told me to always text you first . I would have done anything for you , honestly . I keep thinking that it would have had something to do with me too , because i just don't understand how just one side could have caused you to lose feelings , or whatever happened between us . I wish i could just rewind time , i just wish i could say the things i never said , be who i never was , do what i never did , tried more than i even did . I already had trust issues , i never give anyone a chance . I tried wearing my heart out on my sleeve , but i somehow just felt so comfortable with you , you just made me feel like nothing i've ever felt before . I was always scared to try and love again , but you got past my hard shell and really got to me . You were the first person i trusted in forever , i just thought you might have been different . I don't know what i'll do anymore . I've been played , one too many times , i've been hurt in everything i've actually taken the chance on , in the end i always seem to lose . It's like once i'm at the peak of my happiness , that's when something decides that OH LOOK , SHE'S HAPPY , it's time to tear her down again . I could write forever on , but i'll just realize more and more of what i've lost .
I can't wait until the day , all these years of helping everyone else , i can't wait until i get one single happiness , that is not only there for the moment , but that i can actually keep for a life time .
I just can't wait .
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